How badly do you want to be a footballer?

Discouragement

Second game in a row that I just didn’t play well at all, and I’m pretty discouraged.  Granted some of the time it wasn’t entirely my fault, but still I have to be accountable where necessary.  All the progress that I’d been having seems to have trailed off in the past two weeks.

What’s different?  A few things.  First of all, we haven’t had enough people to play full field games, and this means short-sided, small field games.  My style of play is to work the long ball and the wings – something you can’t do too well on a short field.  Does this mean that I have a speciality?  Maybe…but the trouble on short-field play also suggests I’m not too versatile a player.  Is it a problem with touch?  I don’t know.  I mostly am getting a good first touch, but I seem lost with the ball on a short field.  I just don’t know where to go with it…passes aren’t as available, and there’s less room to work around.  So maybe it’s a footwork issue.  I’m not sure.

The biggest problem might just be my own negativity.  Today’s game started out alright for me, but after one or two mistakes, I just fell apart.  I think I’m just far too down on myself…even tonight, not EVERYTHING was bad.  I had several good passes and one particularly good shot on net (just glanced wide).

And if my soccer world couldn’t be crumbling down around me any more, Arsenal is set to lose Cesc and Samir in the next few days.  With van Persie and Wilshere already having injury problems on top of this, it looks like it could be a long season for the gunners.

Hopefully the upcoming intramural season (with its full-field play) will bring me back some confidence.  Until then, I’m just going to keep training.

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